Don’t resist change . . . Let things flow naturally forward . . .

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes.
Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow.
Let reality be reality.
Let things flow naturally forward
in whatever way they like.
– Lao Tzu

Today (Sunday) is the end of the last Public Holiday in South Africa before the end of year break in December. I, like most people here, turned it into an extra-long weekend by taking a day’s leave on Friday as well.

For me, the weekend did not go quite as I had planned but I still managed to achieve a lot. On Heritage Day (on Thursday), I did not end up going to the Storytelling Festival event where my dear friend Simone was the honoured guest speaker. It broke my heart to disappoint my friend, but I was just too exhausted to get out of bed and just took it easy for the rest of the day. Much later the evening, I summoned some energy to clear my cupboards of old clothes I’ve not worn for years – three bags full which I set aside to donate to my church for the homeless shelter we support.

Friday morning, after months of hard work, I went off to do my first Voice Over demo reel. It was not my first time behind a microphone, but it was the first time in my life I’ve had to be recorded as a Voice Actor (which is what Voice Over artists are also known as).

The experience itself was awesome. I had a wonderful Sound Engineer, Adam Linder, who patiently explained each step. My equally awesome Voice Coach, Barbara Barbieri was there as moral support and to inject some much needed confidence when my mind monkeys (negative talk) started taking over my brain. Barbara also did her first Voice Over demo reel so it was a learning curve for both of us.

After my Voice Over demo I dropped off the three bags of clothes at church, did some grocery shopping and rushed home to meet my Personal Trainer for my gym session. By Friday evening, I was utterly and totally exhausted – physically, mentally and emotionally so, needless to say, I had an early night.

Saturday also did not go completely as planned so again, I had a late start to finishing what I started on Thursday (Spring-cleaning my bedroom). At least that’s done now. Mom would be so proud to see my bedroom now.

I miss mom so much . . . today is exactly eleven months since mom passed away. As I write this I’m feeling terribly sad, emotional and weepy. Last time I had a good cry was 25 June 2015. Since then, I still just feel sad, emotional and weepy around this time of the month.

I never realised how much mom and I shared. It became so natural for me to come home and say “guess who I just saw . . .” or “guess what so-and-so just said”. Watching a programme on television, I still have to remind myself that I cannot go to mom’s bedroom anymore and share what I’ve just seen (sometimes something funny or something ridiculous) – it’s still a huge adjustment for me to continue living in the same house without mom, but I’m not ready to move out yet. I think it’s still too soon. I think I will give myself some more time.

Tomorrow it’s back to the office, getting ready for my exit out of formal employment and working on my marketing strategy for my life as a Freelancer and Voice Artist. There is so much to do. Marketing yourself just takes up so much time. I hate talking about myself. I hate having to go out there and say “Hey, look at me . . . I’m here!” but if that’s the way I have to go to get work, then so be it. It will just have to be done.

Food for thought:
• What does change look like to you?
• How are you adapting to your changing circumstances?