In Memory of Mom: Flowers for my mother . . .

REST IN PEACE MOM – 27 OCTOBER 2015

This week marks the first year anniversary of the death of my mother. For this reason and for this week only, I will do a series of posts In Memory of Mom as my way of getting through this week.

I hope you will join me on this journey . . .

Funeral Flowers for Funeral and Memorial Services
One popular way to express your sympathy when someone dies is to send flowers to the surviving family or the deceased funeral. It is sometimes hard to express sympathetic feelings in words. When you give flowers for a funeral, the meaning is understood. When people give flowers, they are giving an expression of love, respect, and sympathy. Funeral flowers are just a symbol of these feelings. Funeral flowers create a feeling of warmth and beauty at the funeral or memorial gathering.

Selecting funeral flowers needs to encompass a message of sorrow, sympathy, and love.

The flowers you choose can express feelings and emotions and can send a meaningful message. Below are several popular flowers and what they symbolize to help you decide which ones you might want to use.
Lilies are often interpreted as a symbol of the innocence that has been restored to the soul of the departed. A white stargazer lily symbolizes sympathy and a white lily expresses majesty and purity.
Carnations have lasting fragrance. It was believed that the flower first appeared on earth as a result of the tears of the Virgin Mary. They are a symbol of undying love. A red carnation evokes admiration, while a pink carnation stands for remembrance. White carnations stand for pure love and innocence
Iris – Based on Goddess Iris was the links heaven and earth. Purple Iris have for hundreds of years been planted over the graves of women so that they could summon the Goddess Iris to lead their souls to heaven. The bright color of the leaves and the flowers make it popular with florists.
Tulips represent elegance and grace. The color of tulips also has meaning. Yellow tulips represent cheerfulness, white represents forgiveness, and purple represents royalty. The red tulip is said to represent perfect love
Stock flower would be your choice if you want to use a flower that symbolizes a happy and a contented existence.
Chrysanthemums (Mums) -frequently used in arrangements. White chrysanthemums are often understood to symbolize truth.
Gladiolus embodies strength of character, sincerity, and moral integrity,
Roses can be a beautiful part of an arrangement. A white rose evokes reverence, humility, innocence, and youthfulness. Red roses convey respect, love, and courage, love, grace, and gentility are the message that pink roses convey.
Marjoram conveys comfort and consolation.
Nasturtium celebrates patriotism.

Frangipani_Single

Many species of flowers come in a variety of colors, so understanding the meaning behind the colors can also help one in picking just the right flower to express exactly what they want to convey.

Blue – peace, calm and serenity
Pink – grace, happiness, youth, innocence, joy
Purple – royalty, dignity, pride, success, accomplishment, admiration
Red – desire, strength, love
White – innocence, humility, simple beauty, modesty, elegance
Orange – pride, energy, enthusiasm, warmth, confidence, satisfaction, passion
Lavender – refinement, grace, elegance, feminine beauty

Flowers can be arranged in different ways according to how you are going to display them.

Wreaths – Gladiolus. Snap Dragons, lilies, and even roses can be used to create a wreath that can be placed on the side of the funeral casket.
Sprays can be large or small. Small flowers can be shaped like hearts, nosegays and can be placed inside the casket. Quarter and half casket sprays are placed on the lowered lid of an open casket. Full casket sprays cover the length of an open or closed casket. This is usually sent by the immediate family and the undertaker normally arranges for this on behalf of the family.
Baskets serves as a keepsake and is a lovely alternative to more traditional pieces. The basket is a long lasting gift of natural beauty. A basket arrangement may also be sent to a private home.
Sympathy plants provide a lasting tribute to the loved one lost, as well as a constant reminder of the friendship and affection you wish to support through the grieving process.

Remember, funeral flowers honour the dead and console the living.

Candle & purple flowers

ONE YEAR DOWN THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED . . .

October 2014:
https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2014/10/05/tapestry/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2014/10/31/to-each-life-there-is-a-season/

November 2014:
https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2014/11/19/warning-emotional-volcano-about-to-erupt/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2014/11/27/dear-mom/

December 2014:
https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2014/12/14/why-the-obsession-with-loneliness/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2014/12/24/christmas-and-new-year-blessings/

Sinfonia_Mauritius by mom

January 2015:
https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/01/21/grief-mourning-and-bereavement-what-is-the-difference/

February 2015:
https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/02/03/woman-heal-thyself/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/02/08/self-care-sunday-hard-questions-weightless/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/02/13/re-investing-in-life-moving-on/

March 2015:
https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/03/02/how-to-help-a-grieving-friend/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/03/19/how-to-find-the-balance-between-work-and-home-life/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/03/30/what-life-has-taught-me/

Waterfall

April 2015:
https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/04/09/i-am-a-sensitive-child/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/04/14/me-the-budding-entrepreneur/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/04/26/green-is-the-colour-of-my-life/

May 2015:
https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/05/11/in-the-midst-of-movement-and-chaos-becoming-the-new-me/

June 2015:
https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/06/07/i-am-capable/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/06/22/the-pain-of-watching-a-parent-age/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/06/25/stop-the-bus-i-want-to-get-off/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/06/25/what-happens-during-a-colonoscopy/

July 2015:
https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/07/11/me-the-budding-voice-over-artiste/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/07/22/what-im-learning-on-my-journey-to-wealth-creation/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/07/26/what-im-learning-on-my-journey-to-wealth-creation-part-two/

Mother's Day 2014 Rhebokskloof

Mother’s Day 2014 Rhebokskloof

August 2015:
https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/08/02/how-to-increase-your-financial-iq/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/08/11/river-of-life-a-time-for-reflection/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/08/18/finding-your-why/
https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/08/23/wild-geese/

September 2015:
https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/im-not-extraordinary-enough-the-power-of-vulnerability/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/09/12/how-do-i-start-a-blog/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/09/21/my-life-as-an-introvert/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/09/28/dont-resist-change-let-things-flow-naturally-forward/

October 2015 (One year down the road less travelled):
https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/10/13/dear-trauma-counsellor-i-have-ongoing-flashbacks-and-voices-in-my-head-that-just-wont-shut-up/

https://africandream01.wordpress.com/2015/10/20/journaling-as-a-mindfulness-practice-for-thoughts-and-emotions/

Life_Hand releasing butterfly

Advertisements

Dear Mom . . .

Adult Angel

Today (27 November 2014) is exactly one month since you closed your eyes for the last time and left this mortal earth for a better life way beyond our comprehension.

Mom Solo

As I sat having breakfast this morning, I remembered our last morning together. How you grew impatient waiting for me to go through our morning ritual, getting you ready for Aunty May who was going to take care of you for the day while I was at work.

I remember how you asked “why are you taking so long?” when I had only just sat down to have my own breakfast. A few minutes later you said “I don’t hear any spoons!” which meant you were not convinced that I was still eating my cereal. Then while waiting for me, you said a little prayer . . .

“Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I die before I awake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. Amen”

The little prayer was followed by:

Take me now, Lord. PLEASE!!!

We struggled to get you into a sitting position, we eventually gave up trying to brush your teeth and proceeded to give you some breakfast and your medication. I felt so bad hurting you while I was changing you and getting you ready for the day, but there was no other way. No matter what I did it would have hurt. I apologised more than once and asked you to forgive me for hurting you. You said it’s ok. You said you forgive me.

I kissed you goodbye a little more than I usually did. I did not like the look in your eyes when I said goodbye. My heart told me to stay but my head told me I had to go to work, after all, Aunty May had already arrived to take care of you. She went to a lot of trouble to get to our house that early in the morning. I could not change my mind now and send her home again.

Mom at my 50th birthday party in Feb 2014

Mom at my 50th birthday party in Feb 2014

I left home with a very heavy heart that day, desperately wanting to stay home with you. I wanted to be there when you took your last breath. The Lord had other plans, though. He did not want me there. He wanted to call you home when you were alone, that is why He made sure that even Aunty May was not in the room with you when you took your last breath. You were alone mom. I did not want you to be alone. I so desperately did not want you to be alone . . .

Today Zoë danced in her last ballet concert. I was able to watch her dance for the first time because they used a venue which was accessible for me. I know you were there in spirit mom, but you were not physically present with us. We missed you mom. Zoë is such a talented little girl – our little star. The children wanted me to come home with them after the concert. Tami invited me for coffee at their place but I chose to come home instead. Tami looked like she was coping, like it was just another ordinary day for her so I could not go home with her and her family thinking that she did not feel the same way I do about today.

The three girls at my 50th this year

The three girls at my 50th this year

I felt so alone while driving home . . . so alone!

Why do I get so sentimental about everything when Tami is always so flippant and nonchalant about everything?
Why do I always take things so seriously and attach such a huge amount of sentimentality to everything when Tami acts like she doesn’t care?
Am I wrong to feel the way I do?
Why am I so sensitive?

These are all the questions going through my mind as the tears streamed down my face while I was driving home. I felt so alone . . . so desperately alone.

While I was driving my cellphone rang. Someone left a message. When I checked my phone at home it was from Tami thanking me for coming to Zoë’s concert and saying that she hopes I got home safely and she hopes I sleep well tonight. I responded by thanking her for inviting me to Zoë’s concert and said that I’m just not in a good head space tonight for socialising and therefore chose to come home instead. I was surprised when she admitted that she is battling today as well. Wow! so I’m not alone after all. I was so happy to hear that.

Mom (solo) laughing

Tonight I walked into your room after sunset for the first time to close the curtains. Up to now I’ve always made sure I closed the curtains before sunset to avoid having to switch the light on. Touching the light switch when the room is dark takes me back to when I had to wake you at midnight and at four in the morning for your medication. So instead of switching on the light in your room, I left the dining room light on so I did not walk into your dark room and did not need to switch the light on in your room.

After leaving your room I went to the kitchen to get something to eat. I cried some more while preparing my supper. While having supper I cried and could not stop crying. I paused for short periods in between and cried some more. I don’t understand why but I tend to always start crying just when I’m at the point of swallowing my food. I’m a strange person!

Does this mean the numbness I’ve been feeling up to now has lifted or am I going back to being numb after tonight?

I still have so much more tears stored in the well inside of me just waiting to come out, but they come out in cloud bursts. The tears stop as suddenly as they start.

I don’t know when they are coming – what will trigger them. The tiniest thing seems to set me off.

I miss you mom!