How we see ourselves comes from our attitude

Kintsukuroi_Ring the bells


Have you heard about the Japanese art form called Kintsukuroi which means to “repair with gold”. When a ceramic pot or bowl breaks or cracks, it is put together again using gold or silver to create something stronger and more beautiful than it was before.

It doesn’t hide or cover up the damage, it embraces the crack and acknowledges the history of the object while celebrating its imperfections and flaws. It is the art of understanding that the object is stronger and more beautiful because it has been broken. Instead of trying to hide the damage, Kintsukuroi illuminates it. This is done because mending is an art, because you understand there is beauty in the broken places because behind every scar is a story. We are made of stories.

Many of us at some point find ourselves traumatised or victimized, broken at some point. We got into the wrong car, or trusted the wrong person. We lost someone important, we were born into the wrong family. However it happened, we tasted brokenness at some point, and what you learn there you cannot unlearn. That knowledge becomes part of you. It’s a question of how you carry it – or allow it to carry you.

Trauma is sometimes described as the stuff you leave out of a story. You can’t speak it. You can’t even look at it. You exile it into the darkest edges of your life – but that’s exactly where it grows a story all of its own, a secret and festering history that pulls you off course and divides you inside yourself.


It’s only when you find the strength – and a safe inner space – to process those experiences, and weave them into your daylight life narrative, that you gain any real power over them. You put stories to the scars. What kind of stories you tell is up to you. You can’t change the past, and you can’t change the facts – but story is the stuff you put around the facts in order to relate them and charge them with meaning.

How we see things comes from attitude. I can choose to feel sad that my body is covered in scars, that it is broken and damaged, or I can think of myself like Kintsukoroi – I have been repaired with something precious and I’m more beautiful for it.

Kintsukuroi artisans mend the cracks with gold: gold suggests luminosity, the energy of consciousness itself. When we mend, we make meaning from the raw materials of our lives and create ourselves in lines of illumination that show where the stories are.

We take our wounds and turn them into light. That is the healing . . . and the art.

Just remember – no matter what anyone tells you . . . YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Hope is a choice

How you look bears no relevance to the type of person you are
• All good things that happen in life do not come from how you look, but from how you are
• Kindness, loyalty, caring, passion, silliness, excitement, hard work and fun are the things people love about you – they don’t care what size dress you wear
• The most wonderful power is that of self-love and when you are loving and accepting of your body, it feels pretty good
• When you feel confident and happy, it stops other people being able to hurt you
• Even though the whole world has an opinion about your body, the only opinion that matters is your own opinion, so stop worrying about what other people think of you and work on feeling the best you can about yourself.
• In years to come you will probably be a few sizes bigger than you were when you were a teenager but you will be happier, more confident and you will watch the surprise on your face when you realise this is completely true.
• Enjoy your body a lot more and stop wasting so much time worrying about how you look
• Celebrate your healthy body, enjoy that you are well and strong because you don’t know what the future holds in terms of your health
• Our bodies are a miracle and the only one we have, so we need to look after it, be respectful of it, love it.
• Your body belongs to YOU, not anyone else. You’re not as fat as you think you are and it doesn’t matter even if you ARE fat.
• Throughout our lives we worry that our peers are judging us when actually we are so busy thinking about ourselves that we rarely care what anyone else looks like. In reality people don’t care! They are thinking about their own life and their own issues.
• Wear whatever you want, whether it is “in fashion”, “suits you”, “is appropriate” or not, because in years to come you will look back on that favourite outfit with fond memories.
• Those who are very tall . . . STOP SLOUCHING!! Your height is awesome and galumphing giraffes are just as beautiful as petite sparrows.
• Be more confident in your body and be less self-conscious and stop comparing yourself to those photo-shopped celebs in magazines because they are not real.
• Stop buying stupid women’s magazines

Care less about others’ opinions, love yourself more and celebrate your uniqueness!

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