Reflections on a year that’s passed . . .

New Year 2016

The soul always knows what to do to heal itself.
The challenge is to silence the mind.

The new year . . . a time for introspection and re-evaluating our priorities in life.

I’ve learned a lot this year . . . I’ve learned that:

• Things don’t always turn out the way you planned, or the way you think they should
• Things that go wrong, don’t always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before
• Some broken things stay broken
• You can go through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you
• Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood
• I need to stop turning on my emotional television to watch the same programme over and over again, the one that shows how much I have suffered from a certain loss: this only poisons you – nothing else
• Nothing is more dangerous than accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment”
• Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: I need to tell myself that what has passed will never come back
• I need to remember the time when I could live without that one thing or that one person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need
• I need to remember to close cycles – not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance but simply because it no longer fits my life. I need to shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. I need to stop being who I was, and change into who I am.

Change is a process

As 2015 draws to a close and I reflect on what’s happened in my life and the lessons learned there was good mixed with the bad, but through it all I’ve been blessed. What I’ve learned in 2015 was . . .

The mourning/grieving journey has a lifespan of its own. There is no set time-frame, there is no way of knowing how and when it will manifest itself and you have no way of knowing how you will deal with the emotions attached to it until it happens. Then you will find the strength within yourself, given to you by God, to deal with it in your own way and in your own time.
I mourned the loss of a 30-year friendship that seems to just have died a natural death. I failed to see how one-sided this friendship was all these years until I stopped making contact. I’m waiting to see how long it’s going to take for this friendship to be revived and who will be doing the reviving (for now, it will not be me). The lesson learned that relationships need to be worked on from both sides and that sometimes we need to let go of certain people in order to let new people in.
People unexpectedly come into your life, add to the emotional rollercoaster you are on and you have no way of knowing where the new path will lead. Do you trust your gut and “go with the flow” or do you let it go? Do you take the chance?

The lesson learned here is that no matter how dark the stormy clouds around you, there is always the possibility of a little bit of sunshine waiting to shine down on you.

Kitty hiding amongst flowers

This all being said, I suppose the main lesson I learned in 2015 is no matter how many obstacles are thrown your way, you will find a way to survive.

I release all things from the past year that has caused any negative attachment. I prepare and welcome new changes, new lessons and new adventures. I welcome new opportunities to grow emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

I have been truly blessed to always be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes it takes me longer to get there but I do get there eventually.

Frangipani_Single

In the year that lies ahead, let’s strive to do the following:

Make time to bond and connect:
The oxygen of a healthy family is time together not merely time of physically being I each other’s company but quality time of connection and engagement, a time of bonding, talking, sharing each other’s dreams and anxieties, hopes and concerns about life today and tomorrow.

Do you . . .
• Grab food and run off to your next meeting, appointment, sports game?
• Technologically distracted – are you constantly checking messages on your phone i.e. text messages, e-mail, social media? Are you constantly on your laptop, tablet etc? are you glued to the television screen?

Review important relationships:
Re-connect, revisit and reinvigorate your relationships (sit around a table and share a meal while sharing the tribulations and triumphs of the week or year gone by, share Biblical values and thoughts, debate, laugh and sing together.

Strengthen awareness and understanding of Biblical principles, keeping families together . . .
Take a critical look at your religious value system

Nurture strong loving families:
Securing sacred uninterrupted time together for families is universal and absolutely vital if we are to nurture strong, loving families.

Parents (mothers and fathers) need to take responsibility to create space and time which is completely devoted to bonding and connection for the whole family, in an atmosphere of engagement – not distraction love not dislocation, awareness not distraction, loyalty not expedience, belonging not alienation.

What do you think?

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2 thoughts on “Reflections on a year that’s passed . . .

  1. I needed to read this. My current situation is challenging me mentally and emotionally and I know it’s temporary and I’ll get through it but it’s tough.

    Thank you for your message and sharing your experience. I think opening up about how we feel and our current struggles is one way of getting through them.

    Happy new year, I hope it brings you good health and great experiences.
    Rachel.

    Liked by 1 person

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