In pursuit of my African Dream – my heart is breaking . . .

With reference to my blog yesterday (In pursuit of my African Dream – my heart aches) and an article in the Cape Argus tonight “Answering for Injustice” – DA demands an explanation for courts turning away women in need of protection (page 6).

I would like to say thank you to the DA spokesperson for women and children for:-

• Slamming the Minister of Women, Children and People with Disabilities for her response to the matter, saying it was inadequate.

• Questions she (the DA spokesperson) will be submitting to the Minister of Women, Children and People with Disabilities in Parliament to determine what interventions her department has made to ensure the protection of all women.

• Questions she (the DA spokesperson) will be submitting to the Minister of Justice and Constitutional Development in Parliament asking what steps the Minister will be taking to ensure that all women who go to court will receive the assistance they need. I agree that the Minister of Women, Children and People with Disabilities must take “personal responsibility” for ensuring that women are protected and that the Minister is also responsible for ensuring that the activities of various government departments are co-ordinated to protect and promote the rights of vulnerable groups. For the Minister not to do so, would undermine her department’s very reason for being in existence.

As I continue to read the very same newspaper, I turn the page and see the following headline: “US man abused SA children” – Peace Corps volunteer used his position to prey on young girls. Can you believe this? The article goes on to say the following:-

• He (the man from the US) has admitted he sexually abused four young girls while serving in South Africa.

• He faces up to 30 years in prison for sexually abusing the girls while serving at Umvoti Aids Centre in Kwa-Zulu Natal.

• He pleaded guilty in the US District Court to travelling from the US to ENGAGE IN ILLICIT SEXUAL CONDUCT WITH CHILDREN. Can you believe this? Was this his intention when he came or did he just suddenly “get the urge”?

• Authorities say the victims (I call them survivors) were three and six years old at the time.

• He was supposed to be helping young children in need, many of whom were orphans but preyed on them instead.

I really don’t want to sound like someone who hates men (because I don’t) – I know there are some good men left in the world (they are just getting more and more difficult to find, these days), but because it is mostly men who prey on females (children and adults) I must ask this question: “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

Please help me to understand what is going on inside your head to make you want to do something like this to A CHILD!!!!!!! If you really have to rape, molest, sodomise, sexually assault etc, why not pick on an adult?

I am definitely not condoning violence against women of any age, but to do this to a child? WHY??????

I really need to understand what goes on in the mind of a man who does this – I hope someone reading this blog can explain this to me, please?

I have done 2 years of Psychology, been part of a rehabilitation group for sexual offenders, have resumed my studies, and still I have not found one person (male) who can give me a logical explanation for abusing a child. What goes on in the mind for a man to cross the line?

As mentioned earlier, I have resumed my studies to become a Criminologist because I seriously need to understand this phenomenon. What causes a man to see a child as an object merely there to satisfy his need for power and control? Let’s face it – sexual abuse has got very little to do with sex itself – it is all about having power and control over the one being abused.

A child? A precious child who needs to be nurtured, loved and protected? A child who loves unconditionally and only asks to be loved and accepted in return? Once a child has been violated, he/she is never the same again.

The innocence and unconditional trust of those known and unknown is lost forever. The child looks at all males older than him/her and wonders “Can I trust you or will you also hurt me?”

The child (Psychologically) will live forever behind closed doors – physically, the bedroom door which was always open and unlocked will now be kept closed permanently (the child might become obsessive about this, resulting in all the doors in the house always being kept closed), the child will have experience great difficulty and anxiety in being alone in a room with a male (whether a peer or an adult), even cousins, uncles, fathers and grandfathers will be looked on suspiciously – the child will always wonder “can I trust you or will you also hurt me?”.

Whenever a male speaks the child will wonder “what do you want from me – do you also want to do XXXX to me?”

The child becomes a teenager, then an adult – but through all these life stages, the child carries the trauma of what happened when still a child . . .

What are we doing to our women and children?

If you have any insights to my questions, please leave a comment to this blog, alternatively . . .



Justice delayed is justice denied!

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